Carmen

Another conversation from 2009. Merry Christmas readers (if readers in fact exist).

I met Carmen at a party. She was a friend of a friend, though I had never seen her before. She was roughly around my age. She studied at university as well, though not at the same one as me. She was the one who approached me because I looked lonely. I didn't know many people at the party and I'm pathetic at mingling. I call her Carmen because as children we both enjoyed playing a computer game called 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego'. (So her real name obviously isn't Carmen.)

At first we talked about the usual kind of things. How we both knew the birthday girl. What we studied, how we didn't enjoy what we studied for a significant portion of the day. What our career and future plans were, how we didn't have any. Which places we had travelled to, how we wanted to go to more. The conversation eventually turned onto extra-curricular activities. I talked about how I played mixed social soccer this year, though after many balls to the head I would use the word 'social' very lightly. She talked about her music. She wanted to pick up another instrument, having mastered her first. I asked her if she was part of any societies at university. She said she had joined a couple, but had never really been active in any of them. She asked me the same question and I told her I was quite involved in the Christian group at my campus. And this was how the topic of Jesus was raised.

I told her I was a Christian. I spoke about the university Christian group and its activities, and then I spoke a little about my home church and its activities. I asked her if she was Christian, or whether she had any beliefs. She said she was Catholic, though she wasn't practising. Her family was Catholic and she went to a Catholic school. So she guessed that made her Catholic. She attended mass on occasion, though far from regular.

I have this bad habit where whenever a stranger tells me they're Catholic I get very excited and over-eager to discuss certain issues. I feel like talking about faith not works doctrine, the role of the Pope, the role of Mary, purgatory, transubstantiation, lots of other trendy Catholic v. Christian issues. Thoughts scuttle through my mind. I think of all sorts of things to talk about, even bad taste jokes like if you went to MacDonald's and ordered an Angus burger, and then switched 2 of the letters (making Agnus), then ate the burger, it would almost be like transubstantiation. (Very bad taste.) Perhaps other Christians have the same habit. But I must warn you about launching into grand debates about these things. The other person probably doesn't really want to talk about them, nor often would they understand what you're asking them in the first place.

So instead I let Carmen talk and I resolved to listen. She told me how she found mass formal and traditional. She did not understand all the conventions and felt that the church did not make a big effort to reach out to people her age. She nonetheless thought that religion was a good thing, in the sense that it would compel people to be more moral. I thought that would be a good segueway to talking about faith v. works. We discuss salvation through faith in Jesus for some time. She has difficulty accepting that we cannot do anything to earn it for ourselves. She asks what is the motivation to do anything good if you can be saved by doing no works. I try to explain that faith alone saves, but faith grows us in Christ's likeness, and hence our lives bear the fruit of good works. It is a difficult explanation and I tread with care.

Our conversation was interrupted by the party formalities (speech-making and cake-cutting), so I never got to ask Carmen for her contact details. After the party I tried to add her on Facebook, but she hasn't accepted me. I endeavour to acquire Carmen's details off our mutual friend (the birthday girl), though she is a fervent atheist and looks upon me with suspicion whenever I ask for other friend's details. I hope I left her with at least something to think about. Perhaps a seed for later.